Sadhana - Inner experiences and reflections to the outer world

These are some observations from a daily sadhana (spiritual practice). Hope it inspires, gives direction or just gives you something useful for your own practice, to your life, to your heart. When reading this; remember that we are experiencing from our own “premise” and so often the words do not describe the whole picture, the actual experience, it leaves something so authentic away. But I still share the reflections, these reflections that has brought some insight to living a life from the inner to the outer, from outer to inner. The total experience of the sadhana can not really be described 💝 It just is.

These observations have been maid during the 40 day daily mantra (japa) yoga meditation dedication between May 13th - June 21st + till today; July 28th (till the day 76).

From somewhere to begin:
For me it has helped a lot to know the time I have for the practice (ideally enough not to rush) and just really focus and be in the "technique", feel and sense. As I know I have the time for it I would make the best out of it and not "waste" it. And loving the opportunity to just tune into self 💓 Also if I wouldn’t have enough time to do all repetitions (mantras), would rather accept it and make the most out of shorter time too. Of course it is not always so simple for the mind.. Mind thinks and plans and remembers and imagines.. But when the mind just sets time after time for the technique that it has it can be forgotten. For me practice (not just this practice) has reflected so much of my daily habits too.. Perfectionisms, or just getting things done fast (wanting to do everything or to be somewhere else).. It also has brought understanding to what are really necessary things to do, what can go and enjoy and be more present in where I am \ what I'm doing - in a way that each moment can be the "practice". Maybe words surrender, acceptance, flow, non-resistance, letting go, trust, allowing, love, all connected can be helpful reminders or thoughts before the practice. At the beginning of the mantra daily dedication I also focused on the meaning of each word, which gives lovely connection to it.

From the beginning I noticed how I use mala, the repetition of the mantra reflected on my most of the doings as well. At the beginning of the practice it is all focused, and then it starts to slip into automatic. Yes it is the same thing that is repeated, but that is the trick. It is the same thing but each moment is new, it is not the same, it can be experienced, it can be fulfilling if I am in it. Mind wanders; it comes back for the mantra (the technique that is used). It is up to me how I want to experience, immerse. Of course the forcing do not do the trick. It is about allowing, repeating, sensing, feeling (through the senses).

At the beginning I also had an habit to see where I am (look at the mala and see how much more I have left from the 108 beads, the receptions of the main mantra). Like we would know how much time we would anyhow have left in life.. Why should the knowing change anything? If you are in it, you do not need to wish you had more, or feel bad that you were not present. I decided to brake the pattern (or at least aim to it), I do not see how much I have left, I feel, I am in it totally (as totally as it was possible each moment). I noticed that when I had to see where I am at, it made me perfection more if I was at the end of the 108 repetitions. Like I would not feel bad that at least at the end I can focus good - I also slowed down, in a sense of not wanting to let go - in the middle I was “going faster” and then I wasn’t ready to let go. This reflects quite well to life outside the mat/meditation spot. This has brought awareness to my other doings as well.

After 30 day practice

What I have noticed is that I have more "time”, I see it not feeling busy because of the raised presence, not being so much in thoughts and not trying to do all on one day, understanding what can be done later, what are not really necessary to do at all. Have had a feeling that life has had an easier flow, naturality, I notice that I do not react immediately to “demands” or when someone talks - feeling more of the place from where one comes from.. I guess it could be said by listening more deeply than acting/doing something immediately.. so it is easier to be connected to ‘realer' (do not know if it’s a word - real) me. I also feel more and more drawn to the mantra itself and lately I have practiced few times a day (other time a shorter repetitions). My asana practice has gotten shorter but at the moment feeling that I do not have so big attachment to the asana practice even though it is not as long than usual. Anyhow noticed craving some physical “exercise” which is not usually the case as normally the asana practice have fulfilled the exercise part as well.

Some other toughs..

Reflected on “self love”. What it raised to think for me was; why do we / I "beat ourselves up” when we do know that the daily sadhana makes us connected into all our doings in a way that the tasks feels less tasks that I need to do, but tasks that I’m connected to and “do" them more from heart. I guess it just somehow needs and takes the time for us to “raise the vibration” like my mantra teacher for the 40 day practice said if we slip.

For myself I have noticed that I have done things (still do) something before “deserving" something for myself, like I would have to earn it, even though I do understand the pitfall, here I would consciously have to remind me about the oxygen mask example on the airplane (first you, then you can help others). But I think it is a process of changing the habit which takes some time (like this 40 day may bring), raising the vibration, being more able to connect / be awake, act from the heart. Like any unhealthy daily habit, (not so nice example but) even though we might know it is bad we still do it.. this refers nicely to *Anandras “letting God talk to you” and for me I do realize and feel that when hearing and acting from our inner voice it is the best possible and natural outcome and believe the best outcome for all (if thinking about others too who are affected by us) - It’s then true and pure but somehow it is so simple too (even though one hears heart but do not choose it anyways) that I believe that the mind sometimes do wants to interfere and this might not be aliened with the heart. This misalignment comes from our patterning and outside influences, us wanting to please and act and do according to how we think that the other wants us to act or even demands us to act and it do not serve anyone on deeper level. It is only pure when it is from the heart, with will and love. Might be a lifetime learning, surrendering process where I think that a community / people on the same path of interest is a such a valuable support 💝

After 40 day’s

Pauses were significant in the practice. Like the whole practice is because of those pauses where nothing happens - it just is - silent, deep depth of everything, but still not the same without the action part of the practice.

Mostly I practiced silently. Usually in the mornings and evenings, but some afternoon practices where there and then the out loud practice suited well for the state of mind (towards the end to the silent practice). You can practice mantra meditation silently, out loud and by softly so that the sound and the vibration is there but the voice is quite moderate. So this in-between soft, moderate tone was quite little during the 40 day of practicing. Makes me wonder how much this reflects to my outer world? Most likely all I do is all on or then off, the mentality; why bother if not do it 100%. However I do not see the "all off” being reflected to the silent practice. Silently is still action. From this I recall one of Simon Yearwood’s sentence from "Trust – an Open Floor Movement Practice” workshop; “never stop, never force”. I’ll continue the mantra meditation journey and explore the moderate tone and see how it fits.

During the 40 days I practiced mainly at home (inside), but also out in nature, which felt lovely to feel the connection to the living surroundings. I also practiced at my work place - echo in a yoga space brought another dimension to the practice that kept the mind nicely there.

I feel that I experienced easier connection. Listening the inner voice was the truth (still is ;) ), creativity got another boost - I kept a notebook by my side just incase I got something I really had to write down during the practice so I could remember it afterwards and also to be able to just focus on the practice and not to loose myself into thinking process.

Continued daily
Now it is day 44 if counted from the beginning - but of course it is not the amount that counts - it is the presence, meditation, surrendering, letting go, floating to the heart, the soul. Connect ❤️ Practice in the way that it is not practicing - floating from doing to being.

Day 75
Had to calculate the date. By now have stopped calculating the numbers.
It surely has begun to be a daily habit I’m not missing. At the beginning I thought that I wouldn’t have the time for this (and would just experience the 40 day practice) and my asana practice did shorten. But now the time is away from something else (probably from something not that necessary). I have “enough time" / I make the time. Now it has been two practices at separate time of the day (asana and mantra (japa) meditation). Some days have had them both “at row” but have felt that the connection had been “enough” through one practice. Usually the mantra practice has now been at evenings which I have preferred as “bodily passive” practice and asanas in the mornings to open up the whole body for the day. However I do sit quite a while after asanas too as I’ve been more and more drawn to “just sitting/just being”.

During a retreat I joined few weeks ago I also noticed how intense the mantra meditation was with a group (during the retreat we sit together silently for an hour and I used this as my “tool”). So yes, it was intense with a group as somehow the energies do go around. Word intense could also be ‘powerful’. Powerful in a way that I noticed that some days I only used one word from the whole main mantra for the repetition. Felt that the other words were "too much” and simplicity was necessary. During this one word I noticed that there were pauses, long and longer ones. Just being 💝 I also noticed a great gap between centred and not that centred; the less outer distractions / clutter (e.g.. internet, way too many thins to do/tight schedule), the less mind and body tenses and the practice on a mat flows with less “cleaning up to do”.

Day 76
Have also noticed by now how easily dropping to this certain stage is (of course it depends on days too, but at the basic level it is there quite quickly). Like a recall - just sitting down, getting started with the practice brings this sensation of tuning into connection - connection that is just there, wherever we are.

During these weeks I have also noticed how easily it is to know what is ok, necessary, needed etc.. so I would say more tuned to heart with the choices. I notice more “little natural things” that are “big", heart filling, the vibrant aliveness, connection, love is just there/here. Less needs for "outer fulfilment”, the necessities are there but the other not that necessities are not drawing in. No searching. More positivity, more light, control of own life, own doings, own thoughts, things to do and does it serve my heart, fulfill. Busyness is in our heads, not being connected. I’m more aware of the time I need for me not to get out of balance, into head. Have noticed more of these patterns that do create unbalance. I want to stay centred, present, in feeling, in heart.
Feeling inspired, blessed, thankful, LOVE, inner connection ❤️

Might come back to writing more to this post later on as days and months passes by. But it could also be that there is less and less to write, to talk about. The words are just words and the experience is all that we have.

Maybe now you would like to repeat a mantra you know, or ‘OM' (ooouuummm). 

Before you start; find a comfortable position (sitting could be nice), feel your up straight energy rising from ground, to pelvis and from there all the way up above your head, sense your body, the energy. Keep sensing the body, just feeling, or feeling and / or following your breath. Then when the inner feeling allows; repeat the mantra, just repeat, and have pauses in between, your inner feeling knows when to repeat again or if your mind starts to wander much then you might repeat again. Feel, repeat (out loud, in soft voice or in silence without voice), feel, be with the words, be with the syllables, letters, be it, feel it, surrender to it. At the end of the mantra “practice”, just be, feel, immerse.

Enjoy, share love, your presence wherever you are 💓 Energy caches,
With heart, 

*Anandra - My ongoing daily mantra practice came from her 💝 as I attended to her 40 day online mantra group.
She also has a really good online mantra book (among other things) that you can order to your mail: truefreedomcoaching.com

Mantra / japa practice that I have at the moment consists on 7 different mantras and the main mantra is repeated 108 times.
If you are interested in mantra meditation I would suggest to use one for a longer time to dive in with it. If you have no idea, then use a short mantra e.g. OM. From this link you can find some tools how to use mantra and other meditation tools (in Finnish).

How this began
I have been drawn to sitting practices, mantras and have used mantras before and found Anandras web page when I was searching for a mantra teacher. Have found it so balancing to enjoy more and more of the silence (which deepened during this practice too), the parts where there is no doing. Mind needs the doing for a bit to be tamed but then just being, these pauses, these “every things” - it has been such a gift to notice the necessity of these pauses in daily life too, however those might not be similar pauses than “on the mat” but pauses from multiple actions, to just noticing, to just being.


Meditation Cycles of Transformation

40 days: Change a habit.
90 days: Confirm the habit.
120 days: You are the new habit.
1,000 days: Mastery of the new habit.


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